


Distractions

by McHummus



Series: Taking Home all Shattered Ones [2]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Children, Friendship, Gen, Nat wants a child, No Romance, character study - sort of, fake identity, mission - not heavy on details, no awesome fight scenes sadly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-03
Updated: 2014-01-03
Packaged: 2018-01-07 05:51:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1116282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/McHummus/pseuds/McHummus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Natasha is sent on a new mission, to a small town where she meets the sad little Jordan who lights a spark within her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Distractions

**Author's Note:**

> This took a while longer to write up than I expected but it's finally here! Happy New Year everyone!

She had taken to regularly jogging through Central Park, if she wasn't away on a mission. It helped her to clear her mind, she would fool herself. Her mind and conscience never got in the way of anything she did and she learned this feat years ago, at an age when actions left a deeper imprint than words.

It also wasn't the fact that she liked the idea of being surrounded by people. Back in the office there were millions of other people just like her. Loneliness wasn't the problem. Or so she had thought.

Natasha Romanov wasn't a regular woman or like the secret spies in the movies. She didn't have a lover to come home to, or to feed a pet dog or to even tuck a youngster into bed. She had nothing but a tiny room in a tiny apartment with bare walls. It was all pretty minimal. 

Now sitting on a lone bench in the middle of the park, Nat stared out at the green and the different people sitting on picnic blankets. A lot of them consisted of mothers with their children. It was a very idealistic image, she told herself, not something she should fool herself with.

Getting up, Natasha brushed off the back of her black yoga pants and resummed her jog through the park.

–--

Her next mission consisted of her working undercover in a small village. Name: Nat Rickham. Age: 28. Occupation: secretary at a small law firm. She was a single woman trying to get by with no degree in anything and a history of café jobs. She was given living arrangements in an apartment block. It was a small flat – bigger than her actual place, but still considered small – and she lived across the way from a single mother and her daughter, Jordan.

From the hagard appearance of the mother, Natasha didn't expect to be welcomed to the building with a tray of cookies and a pack of beer. 

“Um...hello,” was the only thing she could think of to say when she opened her door and encountered the smiling woman. She quickly cleared her throat to rid her voice of its raspy quality and repeated her greeting again. She hadn't been prepared for this visit – she could always anticipate who were the typical neighbourhood friendlies and those who just didn't want to be bothered. Maybe she needed to touch up on her observation skills.

“Hey, I'm Martha. Sorry about not stopping by to say hi earlier – I'm usually working all the time. I brought you a little gift,” she held up the tray and cold pack before holding them out for the redhead to take.

“...Thanks. Um, I'm Nat.” With that she took the offerings and smiled tightly. She wasnt sure if she was supposed to put forth an invitiation for the woman to come inside but she didn't get a chance to stumble over the question before a little figure swung the door opposite them open and stumped out.

“Mom! I'm going to be late for chess practise!”

Martha flushed and then turned around and tucked the little girl's hair behind her ears. “I'll be right there. Go wait in the car. Okay, Jordan?”

The dark haired girl nodded and ran down the hallway and then down the stairway. Natasha heard the slam of the front door.

“Sorry about that. That's my girl, Jordan. I made her sign up for chess this year so that she could get her brain screwed into the right place. I don't need her taking after me.” Nat just nodded excessively and missed the next question and had Martha repeat it, though she dreaded that decision once she was asked again.

“No, I don't have any of my own.”

She shut the door once Martha was well down the stairs, still thinking of her last words.

“Better get sprugged up soon, old girl, not gunna be young for ever.”

That was exactly the problem, wasn't it? Running out of time and growing old.

 

–----

“I'm so sorry to have to do this to you. I really need this extra money and Mrs. May from downstairs won't answer the door after what Jordan did to her favourite vase.”

Nat smiled warmly and pulled the door back further to welcome Martha and Jordan inside.

“But don't worry, I made her promise not to wreck havoc in here.” Worry flashed across Martha's face as she bit her bottom lip.

Nat waved her worry off and placed a gentle hand on the little girl's shoulder. “It's fine, I don't mind doing this.”

Martha squealed and did a little jump. “Oh, that's just so good of you! I can't thank you enough -” though really, Nat hadn't heard a single 'thank you' so far “- and – oh! Jordan isn't allowed any Coke, her stomach reacts badly to it. And she's to be in bed for nine – school tomorrow. I feel like I'm forgetting something but I just can't remember it so I'll just be running off now! Bye, Sweety!” And before Nat could ask a question – like maybe the keys to their apartment so that she could put Jordan to bed in her own bed – Martha slammed the door shut behind her. Soon after followed the echoing slam of the front door downstairs.

The two figure stood stock still in the quiet apartment. Where it usually felt pretty big because it was so empty, it seemed that the walls had closed in now. Nat looked down at Jordan and saw the little girl watching her closely.

“You wouldn't happen to know if your mom actually did forget something?”

Jordan bobbed her head slowly before scratching at her nose. “I have book club tonight.”

Nat nodded, trying to decide what to do. If she dropped Jordan off at the book club, that would mean less time with the supposed trouble maker. However, Jordan didn't have anything on her, especially a book. How could Martha have forgotten if she's so hellbent on her kid getting her “head screwed on right” anyway? “Boy, you're sure in a lot of clubs.”

“Five.”

“What?” Nat strained to hear her, raising an elegant eyebrow and tilting her head sideways. 

“I'm in five clubs. Mom says she wants me to have lots of oppnuties.”

“Opportunities?”

“Yeah, those. I don't want them, though.”

“But they give you many choices of what to do later in life.”

Jordan huffed and folded her arms. “I think I can decide my choices later in life when it's later and I'm old.”

Nat gulped and was reminded of Tony Stark and his somewhat childish antics. She nodded again. Slowly she stepped back, pulling her arm off Jordan's shoulder. “I can bring you to your book club if you want. What time is it at?”

Jordan hummed and looked around. “Five. I need to be there at five with a book.”

“Is there a particular book that you need?”

“No, just....”, she rustled around, wriggling her small hand into the pocket of her jacket. Crying 'aha!', she produced a crumpled piece of paper and shoved it into Nat's hand. Nat unfolded the paper and read the messily scrawled writing.

“Bring nueew buk to clobb nekst tiem”

Nat cringed at the spelling but didn't bother trying to correct the girl's errors. She'd learn at school or someplace else in time. 

“I guess any book will do.” She walked over to a lone box by the small kitchen table in the corner of the flat and pulled out a book that had been sitting in her own apartment for long enough. It was a thick volume and she doubted that Jordan would actually be able to read half of the words but it was a book nonetheless.

Jordan siddled up to her side and snatched the book from Nat's hands. She flipped the cover over and read the first page. “'Book too big. Letters too small.” And with that she promptly dropped it on the floor.

Nat huffed and bent over to pick up the book as Jordan wandered off. “Is there a library around here?” She knew there was, thanks to her debriefing, but she feighned ignorance. It had been built thanks to the new mayor who felt that children needed to have a valuable source of reading material in their town other than an old book shop where the prices had begun to rise. 

“Yeah, the main stree – by the farmer's market. That's where the club is held.”

Glancing at the time, Nat grabbed a jacket and her keys and beckoned for Jordan to follow her.

–--

“C'mon, it's an easy one.”

“I don't know it.”

“Try.”

“I tried. It's not easy.”

“Well, didn't your teacher help you?”

“I told her and she just said that, once again, I need to get my mom to send in the note about the....the....dyslexia... from our doctor.”

“Dyslexia?” Nat put down the newspaper and pen. “You didn't tell me you're dyslexic.”

“I didn't think it mattered. I didn't want you to stop liking me.”

“Why on earth would I stop liking you?” Her forehead creased with worry at this news.

“The other kids at school don't like me because of it. They say I'm stupid.”

The speed at which Nat pulled Jordan up from the ground and into her lap, one would have thought she had just pulled her out of harms way. She wrapped her pale arms around the little girl and nuzzled her nose into Jordan's hair and neck.

“You, amazing, creative, fantastic and intelligent you, are far from stupid.”

“But why do they say that then?”

Nat didn't have a good answer to that but she felt her own mood plumet into the ground as Jordan's face fell.

“Sometimes people like hurting others for little to no reason at all. You should pay them no attention.”

Jordan nodded glumly and returned her attention to her book.

“It's 'dictionary'. Try breaking it up into smaller parts next time and it might help you.”

–----

“So what other clubs are you in?”

“So I'm in book and chess club –“ Nat nodded, following along as she mixed the cake batter –“ then there's the school's math club, after school club and the club for kids with single parents – Mom was pretty sure about me joining that one and she really wanted to come with me to the first meeting – except then she said that she couldn't be bothered to go again because most of the parents were single moms and she wasn't turning for them– ” Nat widened her eyes “ – and wouldn't bother with the single dads – but I don't know what she meant by that.”

Jordan looked up from where she was sitting on the kitchen floor and gazed curiously at Nat. “Do you know what she means by that? You're grown up, you should, I think.”

Nat quickly shook her head, “No – I don't. Maybe you remember wrong.”

Jordan simply huffed and went back to her colouring book, taking great care to colour within the lines.

 

– – – – 

 

For the first time in a while, Natasha was actually alone in her apartment. Looking after Jordan had become such a regular occurrence that she missed the child's presense in her flat. Without the constant humming of the girl, it was too quiet and Nat could hear the ticking of the clock. Not even turning on the television set and tuning into some programme helped to dull the ache of missing someone. 

However, she did have files to get through in order to find something suspiscious to aid her in her mission. That would have to take up all her attention. It wasn't particularly great work, since her boss did a pretty good job of hiding his illegal business trade history. But, Nat tried to remind herself, this should work as an incentive.

 

– – – – 

 

“Oh, Nat, how would you like to join us Friday night at seven for Jordan's birthday?” That's all it seemed to be nowadays – Martha only ever enquiring Nat if she had time to spare to attend to her daughter. Nat didn't mind one bit but sometimes she heard a very Fury-like voice in her head, chiding her. This was a job after all and no matter how much she had to pretend, she was not to actually feel any particular feelings towards anyone – any sentiment was meant to be thrown out the door. But sometimes she liked this too much – and at night she would lay in bed and imagine what her life could be like if she stayed here and just disappeared from the rest of the world. 

That was the first desire she had felt in a while and it was a stiff feeling beause it went against all her training. But she deemed that as long as she kept these inclinations to herself, everything was fine and there were no dangers to her mission in the small town.

The look on Martha's face reminded Nat about her question regarding Jordan's party.

She felt herself nodding, “Yeah, I'd love to.” It was surprising to her that Jordan hadn't mentioned her birthday recently, most kids usually got so excited at the prospect of gifts. She'd had plenty opportunities since Nat had been babysitting her so regularly.

Martha leaned in and said, in a hushed voice, “Jordan just never manages to get many friends over for her birthdays and I don't want her to mope around again this year.” Memories sparked in Nat's mind, most faded but still raw and painful. 

“I'll come over earlier, to help you set up and stuff.” Nat smiled warmly until Martha beamed back and bounded back across to her flat, apparently happy that she could get someone togo to her daughter's party. This wiped the smile of Nat's face – Jordan couldn't possibly be this unpopular.

Which left her to get a good gift. What could a nine year old possibly want?

– – – – 

Spending some of her own money, rather than the small paycheck she earned at the firm, Nat had decided to get Jordan a few simple things – a small visual companion to the Harry Potter movies, a ballerina figurine on a keychain and a magic tricks kit that promised to entrance everyone! - though Nat felt Jordan would have a better chuckle at the amateur level of the kit.

She hadn't been able to find good wrapping paper – other than Christmas themed ones – so she simpley bought plain brown wrapping paper. Once she was home and had the gifts all wrapped up, she tore open her new pack of markers and wrote funny little messages that to someone might make no sense – but to Jordan, it would make all the sense in the world.

 

– – – – 

 

She felt the hostility in the air rather than heard the whispers. It's terrible, she concluded, to actually invite these kids only to have them barely talk to Jordan. She edged closer to Jordan and smiled warmly at the small girl as Martha proceeded to cut the cake. However, it seemed Jordan was happy to soak up Nat's attention alone and even stayed at the table when the other children left to go play games in the sitting room.

“I just don't want to play with them – they never play fair with me and always make me feel stupid.” 

Instead Nat gave Jordan her present and watched her unfold it and squeel with joy.

 

– – – – 

The lights flickered on as Nat stepped inside her flat and it only took her a second to notice the silhouette of a man by the far side of the apartment.

“Lazy. You should have noticed something was amiss before you even entered. Getting old, Romanov!”

A sigh of relief before a warm smile and then “Will!”

“It's good to see you Nat.”

Nat threw her keys onto the kitchen table and moved towards the fair haired man. He fixed his glasses and glanced around, eyes landing on the office logs that Nat had to take home from the firm.

“You, too!” Something definitely felt amiss right now, especially if the male agent's furrowed brow was anything to go by.

“I'd love to chat, Nat, but this isn't a social visit – ” (it couldn't have been, especially since she was in the middle of a mission – explaining away random visitors wasn't always easy with nosy neighbours) “– I've come with direct orders from Fury himself. He just ordered your return to home base.”

 

– – – – 

 

“I don't know what this is all about but for your next mission, Agent Romanov, you are to remain professional at all times and by that I mean you are to actually do your job!”

“Sir, I don't understand–”

Fury, barely containing his anger, threw a folder across the glass table and continued to glower at Natasha.

“Well, let's hope this help you to understand.”

Nat swiftly flipped the folder over and stared at the first page inside of it. A document that recorded the import of McHill's Firm miscellaneous requirements for the month of March – her third month working at the firm – and one that had atrocious spelling errors. It took her no time in figuring out the hidden code within the document – take each incorrectly spelt word, rearrange them so that the fifth word was first – and voila, a few more codewords of the hidden message.

“It says –”

“I know what it says Agent! Agent Connors saw it when he was in the apartment and it took him no time to figure out something must be wrong and to fill us in. Something that you failed to do! That report is from five months ago! We could have had McHill's Firm shut down by now if this had come through sooner!”

“Sir, I would have filled you in the moment I had seen that – I obviously had not.”

“Oh really...” Fury marched over to her seat and pointed to the corner of the report page, where a small red 'x' was marked. She had marked every page she'd gone through so that she wouldn't get mixed up... 

“I did not expect this level of incompetence from you, Agent. We are not running a goddamn amateur hour agency for aspiring failures here!”

“Sir, I apologize – I don't know what got into me, I would never –”

“Save me the excuses – I've heard enough from Connors to know what happened. Huh,” he gave a dry laugh. “I didn't think you would be so easily beaten by a distraction.”

There was nothing she could do but nod briskly and gulp down the lump lodged in her throat.

“You are suspended for the meantime. Office work until I say otherwise.” With that Fury stormed out of the meeting room, leaving Natasha to gasp for a deep breath – shock filling her veins. What a terrible distraction it had been...

 

– – – – 

 

“I didn't expect to find you here,” came a soft voice.

Nat turned her head and gazed up at the tall blond. “Steve. Same could be said for you.”

Steve laughed gently, pulling up a stool next to her at the bar. “I've been to plenty of bars – at least, back in my day.”

“Have a drink with me then. You're the only company I can stand at the moment. Unless you've been sent by Fury – or Coulson. I don't need someone to keep an eye on me.”

Steve rubbed the back of his head. “Nah. I saw you leave kind of abruptly, so I figured I'd go after you.”

“But I'm not a baby, Steve.” The minute the sentence was out, she cringed. She should have thought about the wording before saying anything. She was meant to be getting her mind off of this baby business.

“Then just pretend that I happened to randomly find you here. It's not everyday I can join a comrade for a drink.”

The two of them lapsed into silence and Nat was happy to sip at her gin tonic, staring aimlessly at the shelf of alcohol ahead of her. Steve ordered something but there was a buzzing in her ears that she didn't wish to hear anything past. And they sat like that for a while until one got up and clapped a hand onto the other's back as way of goodbye and left, passing animated bodies full of energy.

 

– – – – 

 

She reclined on the sun-heated bench and enjoyed the view of the busy park. Families sat around on picnic blankets, savouring food leisurely. They had no worries about mastermind villains taking over the world – their worries consisted of taxes and mortgages. Sometimes, she thinks she's lucky to not have to worry about that but then the foolish trick on her mind fades and she realises that no matter how perceptive she is, human beings will always wish for what they don't have, especially if they're not the ordinary human beings.

A ball rolled over to her bench and a little boy skipped over to collect it, smiling shyly at the redhead. Once the ball was safetly tucked into the crook of his elbow, the boy glanced at Nat again before running back to his friends.

**Author's Note:**

> Can you totally tell that I don't know how to end this? If so, then you are absolutely right. If there is to be a happy conclusion then this would need to be stretched into a longer fic that I currently can't write but....maybe....one day....soon-ish. Because I do love this idea and the complex want within Nat's heart. ..


End file.
